Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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