You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
