so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
