I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
