one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize