Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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