but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dignity is for republicans.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
