Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
