Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
