guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize