Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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