She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize