i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
