bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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