Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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