Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize