saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize