Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
