this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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