No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
