I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She bit a glass in half.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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