Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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