Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
