He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i want to swaddle you in tequila
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
