If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
