clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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