My hair reeks of homosexuality.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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