I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
