I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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