haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
