very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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