Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
