I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize