The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
