Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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