There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
