You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
