Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
