it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
