if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This is the high leading the old right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
