Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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