we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
