I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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