Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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