in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
