Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
