There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
