"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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