I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
