I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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