dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
