my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
