so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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