East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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