Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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