So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
