That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
