She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize