If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
