just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
