eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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