Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
