Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
