he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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