for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You have to summon your inner elephant
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
