I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
