i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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