I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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