so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
