And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
