Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
soo... how was my night?
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