I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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