I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
