Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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