i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
