I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i believe in u and ur pee
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
