So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I pour the whiskey from now on
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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