Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
