I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize