something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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