i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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