Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry woah_its_me hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(718): View more from New York

Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you have to choose: penises or morals?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...

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(205): View more from Alabama

Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�

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(310): View more from California

Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

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(315): View more from New York

Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid

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(773): View more from Illinois

What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?

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