I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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