I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize