i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
