I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
