I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
